


The Big One

by cains-mane (dustyjournal)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: AU: Hot Lifeguard/Merman, Alternate Universe, Angst, Explicit Language, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Merman!Gabriel, Secret Relationship, complicated relationship, destiel au, lifeguard!Dean, merman!Castiel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-26
Updated: 2015-06-19
Packaged: 2018-03-15 07:26:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 8
Words: 13,368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3438662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dustyjournal/pseuds/cains-mane
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set in California during the summer, the romance that forms between a lifeguard and a merman is tested.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Dean adjusted his sunglasses, staring into the sparkling water. The other lifeguard, Jess, was helping a kid that scraped his knee on a rock while running to show off the shells he found, so Dean was sitting on the lookout chair. 

It was an especially windy day, even for California. Dean’s boss had put out a sign earlier saying BEWARE THE WAVES, DO NOT LEAVE CHILDREN UNATTENDED, but that didn’t stop people of all ages from frolicking in the cool ocean water.

Summer break always attracted a large amount of tourists, and Dean admitted that he didn’t mind. People were usually in their best moods in the summer, and many days he’d end up chatting with a group that needed someone else on their beach volleyball team or restaurant recommendations (Dean hadn’t lived in California long, but he knew In-N-Out never disappointed). Serious incidents happened maybe twice a year, and this portion of the beach wasn’t much good for surfing or activities that put people in much danger anyway. 

Scanning the shore, Dean saw kids making sandcastles, picking shells, and throwing sand at each other (until their mothers made them stop, obviously). Few people were past the line of buoys marking the change in depth, and no one was past the edge of the long, rickety pier. 

Most people avoided the pier, and for good reason. It looked as though it had been around since the beginning of time, getting rotten in many places. It jutted out about a hundred feet before taking a 90° turn, extending to the right about ten feet. There once was a guardrail at the very end, but teenagers had cut it down so they could cannonball off the edge. 

Finally switching his gaze to his favourite part of the ocean, Dean focused on the thin line that extended infinitely to the sides and met up with the sky. Something about the constancy of that line always brought Dean calm. 

Dean saw the girl flailing before he heard the screams. He flung off his sunglasses and reflexively grabbed his flutterboard while beginning to climb down the ladder. A buddy of his tried to show off once by jumping off the chair, breaking his ankle in the process. Dean wasn’t that stupid.

Knowing the fastest way to get to her was to take the pier, Dean ripped his shirt off as he sprinted. He knew the soft spots in the wood and expertly avoided them as he ran towards the ocean. He reached the edge of the pier, relieved to still see the girl’s head above the water.

“Hey kid! Catch!” Dean shouted as he threw the flutterboard by the child. His aim was dead on, but before she could turn around, a wave took her under. 

Dean’s heart sank. He knew he had limited time to save her from the deadly waves. With a push of his legs, Dean dove far from the pier to avoid the sharp rocks below. The water was icy and turbulent, but Dean’s years of practice allowed him to keep steady and calm. Fortunately, the girl was just below where she went down. Grabbing her around the waist, Dean swam as fast as he could up to the surface. They broke free, both gasping for air. Relieved to hear her breathing, Dean swam the girl to the rocks below the ladder to get up to the pier. 

“You okay kid?” Dean asked, treading water as he helped her up onto a large, flat rock beside a post. 

The girl nodded. “Thank you,” she muttered, still looking down. 

“Hey, don’t get upset. The waves are crazy out here and you did a great job staying afloat. You’d make a good lifeguard one day,” Dean said with a smile, making the girl smile shyly back. “Climb up the ladder while I grab my board, then I’ll walk you to your mom, okay?” 

“Okay,” she replied. When she made it to the walkway, Dean began swimming to his board.

Dean wanted to keep the girl feeling safe, so he made his way to the flutterboard backwards, holding eye contact. Sure, it was a little more difficult because he couldn’t see when a wave was going to break, but hey, at least the kid was going to be okay.

He knew something was wrong when her eyes grew wide. 

“Look out!” She screamed, pointing behind him.

Too late. A wave more massive than any he had seen all week hit him as he turned around, disorienting him and dragging him below. Dean knew better than to panic, but the cold water made him do twisted somersaults and froze his muscles. The water was too strong, and Dean knew he was losing the battle. 

Mind going fuzzy, Dean’s legs slowed their erratic kicking. He couldn’t believe he was gonna go this way. 

Suddenly, he felt something under his feet causing him to go towards the light. I must really be dying, Dean thought. Just as he felt himself about to slip away however, ocean air filled his lungs and sunlight jolted him back to reality. 

Coughing up an embarrassing amount of water, Dean looked below to see what could have possibly saved him. Nothing but blue water all around him. Jess was running to him on the pier, so it couldn’t have been her. But someone had to have saved him! 

“Dean! Oh my god, are you okay? Do you need help?” Jess yelled to him as he swam towards the rocks.

“I’m fine!” he replied, still coughing a little. “Take her to her mom and I’ll meet you back on the beach! And clear the water!” 

Jess draped the towel she brought for Dean over the guardrail and walked the girl towards the beach as Dean climbed up on a large, flat rock and walked to the ladder. Keeled over, Dean dry heaved for a minute. Before Dean climbed the ladder, he took one look back at the water. His board floated in place, mocking him for being so stupid. Nothing could be seen below the taunting waves. 

The walk back was exhausting. Dean took each step with caution, appreciating the creaking dryness of the boards as proof he would be okay. He took his time, looking to the right of him at the rocks below. The bridge marked the farthest left edge of the beach; beyond it the sand turned to large, sharp rocks haphazardly scattered as the product of collapsed caves. Common sense kept people away from the ominous area, but every once in a while someone –drunk, injured, or dead– would be found among the mess.

The mother was waiting on the beach to thank him, daughter held tightly in front of her.

“Thank you so, so much!” the mother spoke through tears.

Dean could have scolded her, but he kept his reply to a simple “you’re welcome ma’am”. Smiling at the kid, Dean walked over to Jess. She was clearing the water of all swimmers.

“Fucking parents,” Dean grumbled for only Jess to hear, shaking water out of his ear.

She gave him a small smile. “You really had me worried. You were under for a long time, Dean.” 

“Yeah well, I kinda thought I was a goner too,” he replied. 

This caused Jess’ smile to switch to a worried frown. “Why don’t you switch the sign and I’ll take the chair for a bit?” 

Dean nodded in agreement and walked to the shack. Grabbing the SORRY, NO SWIMMING TODAY sign, Dean made his way to the rocky sand that separated the beach from the small parking lot. 

The day was uneventful after that. As always, most people left by four as grey clouds tumbled in. Jess made Dean go home early, assuring him that Sam —his brother and her boyfriend— would be by soon to pick her up. 

As the sun set, Dean sat on the small porch in front of his house and drank from his fourth beer. He looked out among the rough waves and realized just how lucky he was to be alive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! And thank you to vanishingact for the beta read (:


	2. Chapter 2

Castiel swam as far down as he could before he felt the pressure of the water become too much to bear. He angled his tail down behind him and turned sharply to swim farther away from the shore. His face was still frozen in horror: horror at what he had done, horror at what could have happened, horror at what he _felt._

The man should have meant nothing to him. His kind never interfered or interacted with humans. Many times one would fall victim to the unforgiving waves and Castiel or another merperson would do their best to return the body to shore, but saving one was unheard of. Fear of exposure kept them in hiding; all knew the stories of those under the sea being discovered by humans.

So why did Castiel need to save him?

Castiel’s train of thought was interrupted by a large body tackling him through the water. He recognized the flash of a golden tail immediately, annoyance spreading through him.

“Gabriel…ge’ _off_ ,” Castiel grunted, wrestling impatiently for freedom.

“Make me, lil’ bro,” Gabriel sniggered, letting Cas go only to drag him back by his fins. 

Castiel was stealthy and quick, but that only favoured him before contact. Gabriel was considerably stronger and loved to mess with his brother. One arm holding Cas against him, Gabriel ground his fist roughly into Castiel’s hair. Cas grasped for anything of Gabriel that would give him an upper hand, but when he did so Gabriel took the opportunity to tickle the gills on Castiel’s wait with seaweed. Castiel hated being tickled so much that he found himself pleading Gabriel to stop.

Holding Castiel’s hands behind his back, Gabriel asked, “who’s the strongest in the clan?”

“You are, dear brother,” Castiel replied dryly.

“And who’s but a guppy?”

“Me,” Castiel grumbled, grateful that no one had seen that embarrassing wrestling match.

Gabriel finally released his grip, swimming away a little as Cas spun around to face the elder brother.

“You’re not funny, Gabriel,” Castiel said, pulling a piece of seaweed out of his ear.

“Oh relax! I’m just wanna know why you left your post before I came to get you! What’s got your tail in a twist?” Gabriel joked.

“Nothing,” Castiel replied, hoping the unease in his voice was only in his imagination.

Gabriel raised an eyebrow in disbelief. “You are the _worst_ liar in the seven seas, you know that right?”

Castiel shifted his gaze down. He trusted Gabriel more than anyone, but how would he react to his little brother losing his head over a human?

Castiel spread the gills on his neck instinctively, taking in enough air to say the sentence as fast as he could. “I saved a human from drowning,” he spat out.

Gabriel did the most unexpected thing: he laughed. He laughed for a good minute, entire body shaking with amusement. Castiel flicked his tail anxiously, praying that Gabriel didn’t think he was joking.

But Gabriel’s reply was even more surprising. “Oh Cassie, you don’t think I saw that?”

Castiel’s eyes widened in shock. He couldn’t think of anything to say.

Gabriel’s face went from an entertained smile to serious. “Bro, what you did was kind. _Heroic_ even. You’re old enough to take care of yourself, but had you been seen-”

“I know, I know, it was reckless of me. But I couldn’t help it! The man saved a girl and was going to die because of it!” Castiel’s voice filled with more desperation as he spoke, his eyes pleading for Gabriel to understand.

Gabriel’s partially-stern look softened. “I know Cas. I was even tempted to intervene. That man’s a good one; seen him save more than one helpless soul,” Gabriel spoke as he swam closer to his brother. “I won’t tell anyone, promise,” he added, curving his tail behind him to prove his honesty.

Filled with relief, Castiel’s face lifted into a smile.

“Thank-” Cas tried to say, but Gabriel stopped him with a raise of his hand.

“Don’t mention it. I just don’t want my brother ending up at the bottom of the ocean. Come on,” he beckoned as he swam upwards, “let’s get some food. The next shifts are already at their stations and I’m sure you’re hungry, being a _hero_ and all.”

Castiel chased after his brother, momentarily forgetting the man.

\---

Later that night, Castiel watched the sunset from his favourite spot. There were infinite hiding places in the ocean, but the best was under the pier in a crevice formed by enormous rocks. Few of his clan came up to the surface, let alone to the place where so many of their brothers and sisters had died from the collapse of the caves. Humans couldn’t get anywhere near this place safely, so Castiel was never disturbed here.

The clouds had cleared, leaving a swirled mixture of pink, orange, and navy. A seagull flew across Castiel’s line of sight, crossing the bright orange sun. Castiel pushed himself out of the water so the gills on his on his waist were just below the surface to watch the bird become a speck amongst the clouds.

The memory of the man invaded his thoughts all day. Gabriel was right, Castiel was a bad liar. But at least Castiel had kept the most important secret from his brother: he had been watching the man for weeks.

There was something about him that intrigued Castiel like no other human ever had. The clan had been at this beach for nearly 200 years, yet Castiel had never been so drawn to anyone or anything like he was drawn to the lifeguard. Everything the man did was enthusiastic, from the way he ate to playing with children on the beach. But what Castiel liked best was when the beach was empty, the man would walk leisurely to the edge of the pier and lie on his back to watch the ocean. Castiel often wondered what the man thought of when he lay there.

One day he heard the blonde girl —Castiel determined she was another lifeguard— call the man Dean. Castiel tried the name on his lips. It was a simple name, and he liked that it wasn’t a name you could say angrily. Feeling foolish, Castiel stopped saying the man’s name. Names weren’t something you stole; they were shared out of trust. He wouldn’t say it anymore.

Darker thoughts began to creep into Castiel’s mind. He knew the stories better than anyone. How his sister, Anna, had grown curious of a young boy, but he tried to photograph her and, when she refused him, killed her with a harpoon. Of Lucifer, poor, rebellious Lucifer, who decided the human world was the only world worth living in. Ignoring Gabriel’s warning that merpeople couldn’t survive on land longer than a few minutes, he stayed out of the water too long, suffocating before their eyes. Castiel winced from the awful memories.

Gabriel and Castiel were in the defense division of the clan. Gabriel was the division’s leader, often leaving Castiel in charge of watching the horseshoe-shaped shore. Castiel could tell his brother felt guilty for not being able to protect their clan better, but no one would ever blame him for it. Although Castiel had never admitted it, he too felt overwhelming guilt for the loss of Anna and Lucifer.

A wave of protectiveness overtaking Castiel, he vowed in that moment to keep the man from interfering with his duty to the clan. He would die before he let anything happen to them. Surprisingly, he also found himself promising to protect the man to the best of his ability.

Castiel watched as the sun sank lower in the endless sky. A smile spreading across his face, Castiel hoped Dean was watching it too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again for reading! As always, I love to hear your thoughts, so leave a comment if you'd like. Also, if you want to message me personally, you can find me on tumblr as cains-mane (:


	3. Chapter 3

The next few weeks were uneventful for Dean. The house Dean and Sam lived in belonged to Ellen Harvelle, a family friend who only used the house for vacations. The brothers agreed to fix up the old house in trade for free board, which Dean was perfectly happy with. So far Dean patched the leaky roof, fixed the rusted plumbing, and made the backyard --as Dean put it-- “barbecue-worthy”.

Besides work and the parties Jess threw for Giants games, Dean spent his time alone. Sam and Jess were good company, but nothing compared to rolling down the windows of the Impala and driving down the long, winding highways while blasting AC/DC. Living by the beach also meant Dean could walk down the pier and just stare at the waves.

Sam had gone total bitch-mode when he found out about Dean’s near-drowning incident. It started with him worrying about getting Dean to a doctor, then changed to snide comments. Sam got some hair remover in his shampoo the day he brought water wings for Dean while he was on duty.

On a warm Saturday morning, Dean awoke at dawn. He couldn’t fall back asleep, so he decided to head down to the pier to watch the sunrise before his shift.

After making himself a bacon sandwich, Dean donned an old baseball tee, black board shorts, and some new sandals, and took the gravel path to the clearing. As expected, the beach was empty. Dean picked up the few beer cans strewn randomly between the shack and the ocean before heading over to the pier.

As he bent down to pick up a can along the way, the hairs on the back of his neck stood on end. Someone was watching him; he could feel it.

Looking towards the water under the pier, Dean saw ripples where someone or something had just been and ran towards the source. If it had been a person, they couldn’t have gotten far. If it wasn’t, then he shouldn’t have any reason to be paranoid.

Staying vigilant as he walked down the pier, Dean couldn’t see any movement except for the waves lapping at the rocks and sand. Dean hung his head off the edge of the pier, stabilizing himself on the rotten wood, but there was no trace of whatever had been there. _If_ anything had been there. Maybe becoming a lifeguard made him too suspicious of his surroundings. 

Shrugging it off, Dean laid down on his back on the edge of the pier. He pulled his phone out of his pocket to play some music. No clouds in the sky, Dean focused on the feel of the faint breeze on his face. If he really focused, the sounds of the creaking pier faded away and he felt as though he were floating in the water.

There were times when Dean really thought about his life. Until he moved here with Sam, Dean hadn’t felt much pressure to get his act together. But at 26 there were countless people with advanced degrees, getting married, starting families, Dean felt pressure to consider that shit. He didn’t really have that motivation, however, until Sam brought up considering asking Jess to marry him. His little brother was becoming downright respectable and Dean was going to have to move back to Lawrence to work in his father’s garage.

Maybe he’d go to school. There were lots of choices in California and he didn’t do terrible in high school…Yeah, being a lifeguard was alright, but Dean needed to do _something._

Dean must have fallen asleep because when he awoke the sun was already bright in the sky. He looked at his watch- 9 a.m. With how gorgeous the day promised to be, people would be congregating to the small beach within the hour.

Dean stood up and stretched, about to make his way to the lifeguard shack-

“Hello.”

Dean spun around to find the source of the voice, and what he saw surprised him.

A man with jet-black hair and eyes that matched the blue of the water stared rather startled back at him. He looked around Dean’s age, but since Dean could only really see the man’s head and narrow shoulders, Dean couldn’t be too sure.

“Uhh...” Dean said in the most intelligent way possible.

“That is beautiful music you are playing,” the man said, a small smile forming on his face.

Dean looked shyly down at the pocket where his phone was, smiling a little. “Oh, you mean The Beatles?” he replied, “Yeah, they’re pretty awesome. But don’t tell me you’ve never heard of The Beatles!”

“We don’t listen to much music where I’m from.”

“Shame. Uh, I’m Dean.”

“Hello Dean. I’m Castiel,” the man said, his smile broadening. His voice was slightly lower than Dean’s, but it still had a balance of melodic inflections among the roughness. Was it weird that Dean liked how Castiel said his name?

“Whatcha doin’ in the water this early, Castiel? There’s no lifeguard on duty yet and the water must be freezing.”

Castiel cocked his head to the side in question. “It’s not much colder than the afternoon, and there is little wind. Besides, are you not a lifeguard, Dean?”

“Oh yeah, but I’m still in nice clothes,” Dean said with a small laugh. He was flattered and a little embarrassed that this man knew more than him than he knew about the man.

“Yes, of course,” Castiel nodded. Before an awkward silence set in, Castiel continued, “have you lived here long?”

“’Bout a year. My brother moved here so he could go to school, and I moved with him to help him with expenses and shit. We live just up the way,” Dean said casually, pointing up the beach.

Dean was going to say something else, but he noticed some weird markings on each sides of the man’s neck. “Hey, I think you got something stuck on your neck-”

He froze when he realized what actually was on Castiel’s neck. He would have doubted it, but just then a ray of sunlight illuminated the water around Castiel and Dean saw that Castiel was not, in fact, wearing blue swim trunks, but had a fucking _tail._  A tail that flicked behind Castiel as soon as Castiel realized where Dean was looking. Springing back, both Dean’s and Castiel’s eyes grew wide.

“What the _fuck_?!?”

“Dean, please-”

Whatever Castiel was going to say was interrupted by the sound of people approaching the beach.

“Meet me back here at sunset. I will explain. Please,” the man-no, _mer_ man asked, desperation in his eyes.

Dean surprised himself somewhat when he nodded in agreement. “Get out of here, quick,” he ushered. The merman sunk under the water, the tip of his tail flicking above the surface as he swam away.

Dean ran to the shack, shutting off his music and quickly getting the beach set up. He put up the green flag to show that the water was at its ideal condition, and climbed up to the lifeguard chair. He worked on autopilot all day.

Of course he was going to get an explanation! You don’t just see something from a fuckin’ fairytale and let it get away. But why had Castiel risked it? What did he want with Dean?

Tail or not, Dean found himself being both anxious and excited to meet with Castiel again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if that got a little characterization-heavy. There were ideas I needed to get written down, and next chapter promises much more Dean-Cas interaction. 
> 
> Thank you again for reading, and if you have any comments at all I am all ears!


	4. Chapter 4

Castiel had the dawn shift. There was little of import during the morning as many of the humans that came to the beach at night were gone before his shift started and few were on the beach when it ended. For that reason, Castiel usually stayed at his favourite spot to watch to sunrise.

Except for today. Today, the man was at the beach just as the sun made its appearance in the sky. Castiel slid into the water so only his head was above the surface, watching the man pick up some scattered debris.

Then the man stopped. Castiel had a feeling that the man knew he was there, so he ducked under the water and swam back to his true post. Far enough from the shore that there was no way the man could see him, Castiel watched the man walk up the pier.

He was shocked at what he did for a moment. But there he was, and Castiel felt an unwarranted _need_ to talk the man. He barely heard himself say hello. But then he was having an almost normal conversation—he found out the man’s name really was Dean, _and_ Castiel had permission to call him that.

What Castiel seemed to forget was that Dean would inevitably notice his tail. Now himself and his clan would be hunted, possibly killed, all because he had a stupid crush on a hot lifeguard.

\--

As the sun began to set, Castiel made his way to the beach. No one ever questioned how much time he spent alone, which was perfectly fine. He snuck by the night watch with ease, getting to the same spot he had been so stupid not a day earlier. He hoped he could do some damage control.

Every second passing felt like a day, with his anxiety growing the more the sun sank. Lost in his own thoughts, Castiel only noticed that the man was coming when he heard footsteps on the pier. He was wearing the same outfit as this morning, but there seemed to be some grease on his shirt. He was also carrying a bottle of dark liquid with a red label.

 _Act natural,_ Castiel thought. But wait, what was natural? Dean wouldn’t think there was anything natural about this at all. Castiel settled for floating a few yards from the dock, everything that made him different hidden under the waves.

Castiel didn’t know how to start the conversation, but thankfully Dean began before he even reached the edge of the dock.

“All day I thought I had imagined it. That you were just some stupid fairytale of mine come true or some shit,” Dean said, not making eye contact.

Castiel didn’t know how to respond. Did Dean just call him stupid?

“I’m sorry,” Castiel said, turning his head to look at the sun. Only half of it remained above the ocean. He continued, “I—I saw you save that girl, and I—”

“Wait, Dean interrupted, eyes sparkling with shock and hope as he caught Castiel’s eyes, “Castiel, were _you_ the one who saved me from drowning?”

“Yes,” was the only thing Castiel found himself able to say. As hard as he tried, he couldn’t break eye contact.

“Wow. I guess I owe you a thank you.”

That made Castiel drop his gaze. Dean hadn’t run away and he was being kind to Castiel. The man really was a hero.

Dean broke through Castiel’s thoughts. “But man, you owe me some goddamn answers.”

Castiel was thrilled for the change in topic, but fearful of what Dean might ask. “What would you like to know?”

Dean looked taken aback for Castiel’s openness. “Well, for starters, are there more of you? Do you drown sailors by singing and shit like that? Can you walk on land? How do you breathe? Hell, how do you speak _English_?”

Good, nothing personal. “There are merpeople in nearly every large body of water. My clan is one of the largest at about 500, but there used to be more before those caves collapsed. You have nothing to worry about,” Cas continued quickly, “we do not kill humans. We can only survive on land for a few minutes. We’ve all been forced to try to change, just in case. But every ten years our bodies have enough strength to survive on land for a day, which few have actually tried. We breathe through gills— a pair on our neck and a pair on our waist. We have our own language, but knowing English has saved some of us who were seen.”

Dean listened intently as Castiel talked. When Castiel finished, Dean raised the bottle he was holding to his lips –Castiel saw that the label said _Coca-Cola_ – and took a long drink. Replacing the cap, Dean spoke, “Well, that’s reassuring. So, wait, why only one day?”

“Most believe it is to scout other territory, but we have never had the need. We defend our territory well,” Castiel said proudly.  

“Alright, I’m sure I’ll come up with some more questions,” Dean replied as he shifted from sitting cross-legged to hanging his legs over the edge of the pier. “You got any questions for me?”

Castiel was surprised that Dean seemed so casual and open about this. He asked the first thing that came to his mind.

“You live here with your brother, yes? Why did you migrate from wherever you once lived?”

“We moved here from Lawrence ’cause my genius brother’s going to Berkeley. That’s—uh—that’s a really good school here in California,” Dean added when Castiel cocked his head to the side in confusion. “Pre-law, that kid. We’re here for the summer so he can spend more time with his girlfriend Jess. She’s in school to be a nurse.”

“Do you go to school?”

“Nah, I’m not the sharpest knife in the drawer,” Dean said with a small huff of laughter.

Castiel was confused by such a remark. “You seem plenty smart to me.”

“Oh, um, thanks,” Dean said, shifting uncomfortably and looking at his feet kicking back and forth, “but I’m not Berkeley smart. Maybe some other school will take me in someday. Right now I’m just a lifeguard.” Perking up a bit, Dean continued, “What about you? You’ve only told me general shit, tell me about yourself.”

Castiel was afraid of this. He tread his hands through the water, tail flicking apprehensively. What could he say that would relate to this man? What was he proud of? He started, not really sure where his thoughts would take him. “Well, I…I am one of my clan’s best hunters. Others may heal faster, but I rarely get hurt. I’ve also been trying to learn Spanish, but fewer humans seem to know it, so it is difficult to pick up. I…quite like the sunrise. And,” Castiel said, anxiety growing as he said the words he thought he would never admit, “I’ve always thought about coming on land. But my brother is the only one to have gone on land and said I wasn’t missing anything.” Why was he being so open with the man?

Dean laughed and looked at the last sliver of the sunset, either not picking up on Castiel’s anxiety or choosing not to acknowledge it. “Yeah, honestly man, you ain’t missing much.”

Castiel was about to ask what Dean meant, but at that moment Dean’s phone rang. “Oh shit!” he exclaimed. Dean answered, said _sorry, be right there_ , and hung up.

“Dammit. Forgot I promised my brother I’d drive him to some club right about now.”

“My apologies. I will leave you now.”

“Wait- Cas!” Dean shouted as Castiel was about to sink under the water. Did he just call him Cas?

“Yes Dean?”

“Uh… can I see you again? I just found out you fuckin'  _exist_ and I…” Dean seemed at a loss for words.

“Yes Dean. I can meet you here at sunset two days from now if you wish.”

A fading beam of light bounced off Dean’s grin. “Yeah. Yeah, see you then. And Cas—thanks again for …um…for saving my life.”

“You’re welcome, Dean.” As Dean turned to leave, Castiel blurted, “Oh Dean? I have one more question. Why do some humans call what you’re drinking pop, but others call it soda?”

Dean laughed. Castiel didn’t know why, but he hoped he could make the man laugh again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't know why, but I found this chapter more challenging to write. Please let me know what you thought!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so, so sorry for taking so long to upload another chapter! I've been incredibly busy and I somehow deleted this chapter right before I was going to upload it so I had to rewrite the entire thing! I hope it was worth the wait (:

Dean lay awake for hours that night. He was ecstatic. No, he was scared. Well, not  _scared_ exactly but, what, nervous? Suspicious? Insane? His emotions were out of control, his stomach doing flip-flops. He really didn’t know what to think.

Cas wasn’t some monster, he was just a curious, dorky little guy. Dean sensed that Cas was pretty lonely, but maybe he was just projecting. Cas did have an entire group that he lived with; how lonely could he really be?

Their conversation almost seemed normal, and he was proud that he grabbed a pair and asked to see Cas again.

He obviously wasn’t going to tell anyone. Sam was open-minded and wouldn’t blab, but he would want proof, and Dean couldn’t betray Cas like that.

Recognizing that trying to sleep was useless, Dean grabbed his laptop. Using the information Cas told him, Dean looked more into the lore on mermaids-well, merpeople. Turns out there wasn’t much fitting Cas’ description, but he did find a local article about a man who died from extreme dehydration. No one knew the man, and he had no identification on him. Maybe that was someone from Cas’ group? How else would they know their time limits if they didn’t test them?

He could barely wait for the next meet-up. Should he wear more comfortable clothing in case Cas wanted to talk longer? Maybe he would wear his new hoodie in case it got cold. Wait, since when has he given a rat’s ass about his appearance? It’s not like Dean had a _crush_ on the guy or anything! He did have to admit that he was more excited than anything, but this was just curiosity. Nothing more.

It was nearly dawn when Dean finally fell asleep.

\----

“You sure you don’t want to come?”

“Yeah Sammy, you kids have fun.”

“See ya later, Dean,” Jess said with a smile.

“You keep my brother in line, Jess! Make sure he doesn’t frolic in the ocean too much.”

“I promise, Dean,” Jess said, laughing. She and Sam headed out the door to the party down the beach. Dean usually joined them, but tonight was the night he was meeting up with Castiel.

Dean stole a glance at the clock on the wall. 5:06 p.m. The sun had just begun to set, but would Cas be there already? He beat Dean last time, so it was possible Cas was already there and Dean could be leaving him waiting. But if he went too early that could seem weird. Dean realized he was pacing and decided to just fuck it, if he’s early he’s early. Even if he did beat Castiel there, he could act like he was just watching the sunset. Dean smiled a little, thinking about how Cas seemed to like the sunset too.

As always, everyone had already left this part of the beach. As Dean sauntered down the peer, he saw Castiel’s head rise above the surface of the water about 50 yards away. Dean smiled a little and waved, but Cas just dove back under the water. Feeling stupid, Dean dropped his arm and jogged to the edge of the pier.

“You are early,” Cas said, squinting his eyes a little.

“Hey, so are you!” Dean replied playfully. Cas looked down, seeming a little ashamed. Regret filled in Dean’s stomach as he backtracked.

“I guess we both like the scenery too much,” Dean added, and he could see a half-smile return to Cas’ face.

Attempting to look nonchalant, Dean laid down, arms tucked behind his head. “Anything interesting going on in the big blue?” Dean asked, kicking himself for sounding so cheesy.

“Well, the hatchlings are finally able to open their eyes, and soon their tail colours will manifest,” Cas replied excitedly, a warm sparkle in his eyes.

“Whoa, that’s pretty cool! Are there hatchlings every year?”

“No. We age much slower than you humans, and births are only once every twenty years or so. Numbers also vary greatly for how many survive to this point. This time had the greatest number that I can remember.”

“Well that’s…cool. So, wait, how _old_ are you? ’Cause you don’t look a day over 25.” Seriously, what the _fuck_ had gotten into him? That had to be the cheesiest line ever.

Cas didn’t seem to notice the awkwardness. “I cannot recall an exact year; as I said, we age slower so our perception of time is off. But I would guess I am around 250 years old.”

“Oh, okay. That’s cool.” Dean didn’t really know what to think of that, but he shrugged it off.

Remembering his phone in his pocket, Dean sat up a little. “Oh Cas, I...uh… I brought you some music. Since you liked it last time. My phone’s speakers don’t do it justice, but anyway...” Dean hit shuffle, grateful that the few Lady Gaga songs he had weren’t first on the list.

“Thank you, Dean.” Cas replied shyly. The merman turned in the direction of the sinking sun, and Dean laid down on his back once more.

They laid there, listening to Bon Jovi singing that they were halfway there. Dean didn’t realize how weird this might be, hoping Cas wasn’t just being polite. He wracked his brain looking for more things to talk about.

“Hey, why don’t we play 20 questions?” he suggested, smiling at the thought. “My brother and I always came up with the best topics. We usually used it as an initiation process for any of our new friends.”

“How do you play?” Cas said, cocking his head to the side. Dean tried to hide his smile, but something about Cas’ confusion was endearing. He turned his music down a little, looking into the merman’s eyes.

“Well, really, the game is to guess whatever object, place, or whatever the other person is thinking of, but Sam and I have always asked would-you-rather or what’s-your-favourite-whatever kinda questions. For example, what’s your favourite food?”

“I don’t have a favourite food. I eat what is available.”

“Oh come on, man. There has to be something you get most excited about!”

“Well, I do enjoy shark, but that is a rare delicacy.”

“Whoa, you hunt sharks?”

“No, but sometimes they are injured and we put them out of their pain. What is your favourite food?”

“Oh that’s easy—pie. Especially apple. I mean all pie is good, but something about apple pie just makes everything better. But if you’re talking _real_ food, nothing beats a good hamburger and animal fries from this place called In-N-Out. Do you know what any of this food is, Cas?”

“Yes. Well, not animal fries. Which animals do they cook for those?”

Dean stifled a laugh, not wanting to offend the very reasonable question. “Oh, no, they use regular potatoes for the fries, and they smother them with cheese, onions, and some kind of sauce that tastes heavenly. The ‘animal’ part is just an expression.”

“I see. That sounds delightful.”

 _Delightful._ This guy was something else. Dean spoke again. “Okay, you come up with a question.”

Cas squinted his eyes a little, looking ultra-focused. Dean was about to say he could come up with another topic, but Cas spoke.

“I saw you playing volleyball on the beach once. Do you play any other sports?”

“Yeah! I used to play baseball back in Lawrence,” Dean said excitedly, nostalgia greeting him like an old friend. “I had a real knack for pitching. I tore my shoulder a while back though, and I haven’t really gotten back into it. Watching it on TV is nothing compared to playing it.”

“That sounds very fun. We don’t have anything like that in my clan, but we do play ‘capture the clam’, which I believe humans call ‘capture the flag’. I am very good at that game,” Cas said, turning to Dean, a hint of pride in his eyes. “I believe it is your turn to ask a question.”

“Alright then…what’s the best advice anyone has ever given you?”

Dean meant the question lightly, but Cas’ face turned serious, even solemn. Cas shifted to float on his back and look at the sky above. “Before the caves fell, one from my group—Lucifer— died because he wished to stay on land. My brother Gabriel said to me then that all we really have in our lives are choices. The choices will be different, and not everyone gets the same ones. Sometimes they have an immediate impact, sometimes they do not affect much, and sometimes they seem insignificant until we look back and we realize we would not be the same without it. But the most important thing to remember is that every choice will bring regrets, and if we do not choose with our hearts then we should not have chosen at all.”

“Wow, that’s deep. Pun not intended.”

Dean heard Cas laugh a little, which made him smile. "Yes, I believe so,” Cas replied quietly.

They both looked at the sky in silence for a while. Dean skipped over _Heat of the Moment_ to get to some Beatles. The soft piano accompanied the situation perfectly, Dean thought.

“Well, what about you, Dean? What is the best advice you have ever been given?”

“Hmm. I doubt I’ve gotten anything nearly as thoughtful or helpful as yours, but this poet—I’m not sure who exactly—said, ‘ _In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on_.’ I read it in one of Sammy’s college books and it just made a lot of sense to me.”

“It does make sense.”

Another silence, though Dean couldn’t call it awkward.

“Hey Cas?”

“Yes, Dean?”

“You said your group gets their tail colours right? Does that mean that not everyone has the same?”

“That is correct,” Cas replied. Dean couldn’t tell if the merman was uncomfortable, but his curiosity got the better of him.

“Do you mind if I…see yours?” Dean asked, turning onto his side to face the water.

Cas looked surprised, but not insulted.

“Of course, Dean.”

Bringing his tail above the water for the first time that night, Dean was able to see the deep blue of Cas’ tail. What Dean didn’t notice at first was that Cas’ tail went nearly black at the tailfin, and the little fins on either side were black and sharp-looking.

Dean realized he was gaping. Closing his mouth in embarrassment, he nodded in awkward approval and sat up, crossing his legs.

Cas lowered his tail under the water, turning to keep eye contact with Dean. It was Cas who broke the silence.

“I am very proud of it. I can be very stealthy when I want to.”

“Looks like. It’s pretty badass, man.”

“Thank you. So, Dean, are you planning to move back to Lawrence when your brother finishes school?”

Dean was thankful that Cas changed the topic. “Yeah, maybe. I do like it here. Not much to do in Lawrence. There’s something private about being in such a public place like California, yenno?”

Cas squinted his eyes, nodding a little as if he was analyzing every word Dean said carefully.

“Although,” Dean huffed, “the storms can be _crazy_ here. I’m just waiting for the Big One to roll around.”

“I’m sorry?”

“Oh, um, it’s a phrase I’ve heard from the locals. It’s like saying ‘when Hell freezes over’, except these people truly believe there’s going to be some big wave that’s going to wipe out the west coast. Normally they say it as an excuse to do stupid shit, but some people swear by it.”

“That is interesting. My clan believes a great storm as well. One that will even threaten our lives. There was a beginning to everything, so everything must have an end. It could also be a way to not stay attached to this place in case we must leave, but I do like it here. Change is not something I am very accustomed to.”

Dean was about to reply, but his phone rang. It was Ellen, no doubt calling to check on the house. He let the call go to voicemail, making a mental note to call her back in the morning.

“Is something wrong, Dean? Do you need to leave?”

“Nah, they can wait. Sam and Jess are at a party down the beach and won’t be back until later.” Dean turned to Cas, smiling, “I can stay awhile if that’s alright with you.”

“Of course Dean.”

They talked long after the sun had disappeared and the moon illuminated the glassy water. At some point, Dean fell asleep. By the time he woke up, the sun was high in the sky and Cas was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really couldn't help myself with those songs.
> 
> Also, if you were curious, the Beatles song was 'Let it Be' and the quote Dean referenced was from Robert Frost. 
> 
> Thank you for reading! As always, I love comments!


	6. Chapter 6

Meeting up became routine. Most often it was at sunset as Dean, as he put it, “was not willing to give up his four hours to see the sun do the same thing every day”. They couldn’t risk being too obvious, so it was only every few days that they would sneak off to the pier. Dean would bring Cas new food to try—Tostitos were a hit, as were peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, and Dean found himself laughing more than he remembered when Cas tried to eat spaghetti with his fingers. Cas laughed too, although a little unsure as to why.

Dean would tell Cas about his boring day, and Cas would talk about the new caves he discovered and how the little ones were growing. Both would listen to the other’s stories with interest, asking questions and offering solutions to problems. Music became customary, and Dean grinned when Cas would ask for certain songs to be played. He even let Cas scroll through the music himself (after he had dried his hands off, of course).

Sam noticed something was different with Dean. As much as Dean tried to hide it, Sam kept badgering him about what had changed in his brother’s life that had him so giddy. Dean wouldn’t budge, but Sam added that he was glad his brother had found someone he could smile about even when they weren’t around. Which was true; Dean found himself impatient to see the merman again and laughing about little things the guy said or did. Something would happen in his day that would make him want to text Cas, only to remember that he would have to wait until a few days later. The weirdest part was he didn’t mind one bit.

Castiel was not approached by anyone in his clan. No one seemed to notice his disappearances as it wasn’t uncommon for him to spend hours away from the rest, but he did get a few questioning glances if he was caught humming a song to himself. Gabriel was busy lately as he was testing the hatchlings on their specific skills to place them in their proper positions in the clan, so Cas did not worry about being caught.

It was the night of their eighth meeting, as Castiel swam the long was to the pier, that Gabriel intercepted him.

“Hey Castiel!” Gabriel exclaimed, oh-too-sweetly.

“Hello Gabriel.” replied Castiel, knowing his brother must be very serious if he were acting this casual.

“Where ya headed?”

“Nowhere.” Castiel did his best to hold eye contact while also looking casual, but his brother knew better.

“Let’s cut the crap. I know you’re going to see this Dean fellow, the one you _obviously_ have a crush on…”

“I do _not_ have a crush!” Cas retorted, crossing his arms in annoyance.

Gabriel put his hands up in defense, causing Cas to take a few deep breaths. Both their tails relaxed from their rigid states.

“Look,” Gabriel continued calmly, “I haven’t seen everything. But what I did see is you and that man lying together for hours. Cas, I saw you show him your _tail._ I just want an explanation, okay?”

It took a few moments for Castiel to put his thoughts together, and when he began he spoke very slowly. “I do not know what came over me. I wanted to make sure he was okay, and then he noticed I wasn’t human and I had to make sure he was trustworthy. And he is, Gabriel. He is so _kind_ , kinder than anyone has ever been to me. I believe his is simply lonely. Talking to him is easy.”

Castiel thought what he said and the smile on his face would keep the calm between them, but Gabriel was obviously anything but. Cas winced when Gabriel nearly shouted, “are you absolutely insane, Castiel? I said you did the right thing saving him. That did not mean to go _falling in love with the man!_ ”

Castiel swam back in shock. He opened and closed his mouth a few times, wanting to yell back that there was no way he could ever love someone like Dean, that it was plain curiosity and he could stop seeing him at any time. But no matter how hard he tried, no words came out. He dropped his head in shame, tail flicking up in defeat.

Gabriel moved close enough to put a hand on his brother’s shoulder. “I’m not going to ban you from ever seeing him, Castiel. That would be unfair and not solve anything. But you have to think about this. At no point has human contact been beneficial to our clan,” he said sternly. There was nothing but concern in his eyes. Before Castiel could reply, Gabriel turned tail, leaving Cas alone with his thoughts.

\--

When Cas arrived, the sun was nearly gone and Dean was pacing on the edge of the dock. The man jumped a little when he saw Cas as he did not announce his arrival, but a smile spread across his face. It made Cas’ stomach drop.

“Hey, Cas! Listen, I decided fried food is too delicious to not try at least once—hey, what’s wrong?”

“Dean, I…” Cas trailed off. First Gabriel, now Dean? Why was he suddenly a victim to being tongue tied?

Castiel huffed in frustration, avoiding the eye contact Dean’s worried eyes were demanding. This man was making this much more difficult than it needed to be.

“I must put an end to these meetings. I wish you good luck with your endeavors. Goodbye.”

Cas dove under the water before Dean had the chance to speak. He swam straight down, wanting to get out of the man’s sight as quickly as possible. But he heard a break in the water, which could only mean one thing.

Castiel spun around to see Dean swimming frantically towards him. Was this man insane?

Cas swam up to meet Dean, grabbing his hand and pulling him to the surface. Cas was seething and he quickly swam a few lengths away as the man began treading water.

“Wow,” Dean panted, spitting some water from his mouth and managing a half-smile, “you really are fast.”

“Dean, had I not noticed you—”

“Well you couldn’t just say ‘see ya never’ and fuckin _leave_!” Dean interrupted, throwing his hands in the air and making a splash as he brought them back down.

They stayed that way, staring into each other’s eyes. Cas trying to keep his guard up, Dean doing everything to break it down.

It was Cas who broke the silence. “This is wrong, Dean. You are a great man and I’m very glad I was able to save you. But you… you are the sunrise as I am the sunset. You shouldn’t even know I exist, let alone talk to me. It puts everyone at risk the more we see one another. _Especially_ my family.” The words tasted like ash, but he needed to say them.   

“You know what Cas? Fuck that. You know you can trust me.” Dean swam a little closer to Cas, and as much as Cas wanted to swim away, he was frozen in place.

"Can I?" Castiel nearly shouted, taken aback by his sudden harshness. 

Dean looked at a loss for words, and the sadness and desperation on his face was more than Castiel could bear.

“You’re scared and protective. Fine, I get that. But what’s so dangerous about just talking to me?” Dean questioned. 

Cas was having a hard time focusing on Dean’s words because the man had gotten even closer. It should have been uncomfortably close, but he had no desire to move away. His breath caught slightly. He figured his face mirrored Dean’s look of surprise.

“Dean, I…”

“It’s fine, Cas.” Dean deadpanned, Cas’ words seeming to break him from whatever trance he was in. He swam backwards slowly towards the ladder as Cas stayed stuck in place. “Look, I’ll admit this is freakin’ weird,” he continued, seeming exasperated from the words coming out, “but I ain’t one for giving up.” He shook the water out of his hair and took off his soaking wet shirt. Cas had to admit he watched intently.

“I’ll be here in a week. You show up, great. You don’t, that’s your choice. Deal?”

Cas, the guppy he was, only nodded. But that was enough for Dean.

“See ya, Cas.”

By the time Cas was able to croak out a small “Dean”, the man was halfway down the dock.


	7. Chapter 7

It rained a peaceful, smell-that-summer-air kind of rain that night. To Dean, however, it seemed as though shards of ice were being chucked at the window above his bed. This gave him plenty of unwanted time to think about Cas: if the merman might actually show up, what he was doing at that moment, and if he was right about the danger Dean posed.

Thinking back to mere hours before, Dean realized that he may have made things worse rather than better between the two of them. He had stormed off the dock, blood pounding in his ears so loud that he couldn’t be sure if Cas had called after him or not. But he was soaking wet and overcome with anger, so he did his best to run off the adrenaline on his way back to the house. Pushing past his brother (and earning a shove because he had gotten Sam just a tad wet), Dean dried off, put on new clothes, and hopped in the Impala.

The relief of being on the road, music blaring, cleared all other thoughts from Dean’s mind. For a couple of hours there was only his childhood tapes and the feeling of wind on his face. But now here he was, hands holding a pillow over his face in a futile attempt to block out everything demanding his attention.

It was no surprise that by the time Dean fell asleep, birds were already chirping their morning song.

\--

For a moment, Dean thought he had accidentally set his alarm for the wrong time. But the clock wasn’t lying; it was 8:30 a.m. and time to get ready for the Saturday morning shift.

Dean made every groggy, grumpy, and downright stubborn noise in between rolling out of bed and trudging downstairs. Of course Sam was already in the kitchen drinking a very healthy-looking shake, running clothes drenched with sweat.

“Mornin’ sunshine,” Sam half-sang as he placed a cup of coffee and banana muffin in front of his brother.

Dean squinted up at the giant towering over him to say thank you, but the sun was so bright that he had to switch his gaze to the coffee. “Dude, how did you get _any_ sleep last night? The storm kept me up till dawn.”

“It rained last night?” Sam replied, receiving a very dirty look as confirmation. Dean shot back half his coffee, burning his tongue a bit. It was worth it.

Sam topped Dean up, finished his drink, and began to rinse the dishes. As he switched to loading the dishwasher—a task neither of them particularly enjoyed—he looked to his elder brother wearily.

Dean could feel the puppy-dog stare boring into him. “Sam, if you got something to ask, just friggin’ ask.”

“Can I borrow your car next weekend? It’s Jess’ and my anniversary and we were thinking about doing a little road trip to Disney. I promise I’ll bring it back with a full tank and not park near anyone, especially minivans—”

Dean held up his hand to silence his brother. “God, Sam, you’re asking as if you need a kidney. Of course you can borrow the car. You’ve gotta keep this girl interested in you somehow. Hey, top me up.”

Sam laughed in relief as he filled Dean’s cup for the third time. “Thanks. Hey, don’t you have to get down to the beach right away?”

“Sammy, I got this. Jess is probably there already anyway.”

With that, Dean grabbed the essentials and jogged to the beach. The caffeine hadn’t really hit him yet, but with sunglasses on no one could tell Dean was five seconds from falling asleep.

As predicted, Jess was in the lifeguard shack already. Her blonde hair fell over her face as she grabbed the CLEAR WATERS AND CLEAR SKIES sign. She spun around to give Dean a bright-white smile as he made his way into the shade.

“Morning, Dean!” she greeted cheerfully. What was it with morning people that was so damn annoying?

“Hey, Jess. Looks like we got some cleaning up to do,” Dean replied, throwing his hand in the general direction of the beach to acknowledge the various piles of debris left behind by the wind.

“Yeah, quite a storm last night. I had to pick up the big chair! Why don’t you get a head start and I’ll join you right away?”

Dean nodded in agreement, grabbing a garbage bag. The small stretch of sand took less time than expected to tidy, and soon Dean was maneuvering the big rocks by the pier.

_“Pssst. PSSSSST.”_

Dean turned quickly, seeing a sandy brown mop of hair behind a sharp rock. The face belonging to the hair popped out of the water, stern but with a mischievous glimmer in his eyes.

“Act natural!” the man half-whispered, not acting natural at all. When Dean only replied with a look of confusion, the man jerked his head in a “come hither” motion and disappeared behind the rock once again. As the stranger moved, Dean noticed that the man was not a man, for he had gills on the sides of his neck.

Apprehensive but incredibly interested, Dean nonchalantly picked up debris as he made his way to the merman in the water. When he reached a safe rock that was near-whispering distance from the stranger, Dean checked behind him to see Jess talking to some early risers and crouched down to face the merman.

“What do you want?” Dean demanded. Obviously the caffeine wasn’t helping much with his manners, but Dean was in no mood for small talk. 

“Well _hell-ooo_ to you too,” the stranger replied, feigning hurt feelings.

“You’re going to be seen!”

“Relax, buddy boy. I have a few tricks up my gills. No one’s seeing me unless I want them too.”

“Wow, you can do that?” Dean asked, but before he got a reply he shook his head. “Actually, that’s not what’s important. Who are you, and what do you want?”

“Fine, pushypants. I’m Gabriel.”

 “Great. I’m Dean.”

“Wish I could say it was nice to meetcha, Dean, but I’m here on strict business,” Gabriel responded, crossing his arms in a way that was only partially intimidating. “My brother has taken a liking to you and I’m here to assume the protective older brother position.”

“What does it matter what your brother does or doesn’t do?” Dean replied dryly.

“Well, since you asked _so nicely,_ I’ll have you know that I’m one of our clan’s leaders. Therefore, any possible threat must be dealt with immediately.” Dean was about to interrupt, but Gabriel continued, “Cas is also the only family—real family, that is—I have left. So his well-being is at the top of my priorities list.”

“That’s great and all, Gabriel, but if you’ve been spying on Cas and me as much as I bet you have, you’ll know that I’m no threat. It also sounds like you’re just a little too involved in your brother’s life.” Dean didn’t know where his aggression was coming from, but something about Gabriel rubbed him the wrong way.

Gabriel was obviously losing his patience as well. “You don’t seem to understand. Maybe you don’t have a brother.”

“I do.”

“Well then, you should understand where I’m coming from,” Gabriel snapped. Man, this guy was cheeky.

After a frustrated silence, Dean replied, “so, what, you’re going to tell me to stay the hell away from him or I’ll know what the bottom of the ocean looks like?”

Jess had decided to take this moment to check up on Dean. “Dean? Need any help?” she yelled, sounding a little worried.

“Nope! Just detangling a net!” Dean quickly called back. No answer meant Jess had retired to her spot on the lifeguard chair. Dean sighed in relief and brought his attention back to the nuisance in front of him.

Gabriel didn’t miss a beat.“That’s what I wanted to say when I first found out, yes. But Cas—he’s just so _happy_ right now. I want to know your intentions with him.”

“My _intentions_?”

“Yes. I haven’t been spying on you two that much, but I’ve seen enough to know that you aren’t going to just give up seeing him,” Gabriel stated as he raised himself to look at Dean at eye level, “and I want to know if you love him too.”

Dean almost fell off the rock.

“ _Love?_ Okay buddy, I don’t care who you are. I’m leaving.”

“Oh no you’re not. Work with me here! I’m simply trying to have a chat and you’re being unreasonable.”

“Look, it’s great that you care about your brother and all. But I’m harmless and it doesn’t seem like he’s too interesting in seeing me these days anyway.”

“Bullshark, Dean-o. One, as an expert on all things Cas, I can guarantee he’s head-over-heels for ya. Two, as much as you’d like to think you’re harmless, you’re not. There are those in the clan that have fallen for the world above and it’s never pretty. Even being close to shore is dangerous, which is why I’ve always put the most trustworthy, the safest of us up here. Well, look how that turned out.”

Gabriel’s solemn tone made Dean recall when Cas told him about Anna. About the caves. About Lucifer. His stomach dropped. All that time alone with his thoughts last night and he never fully contemplated what a risk Cas was taking.

Gabriel could see that Dean was finally taking his words to heart. “Look, Dean, neither me nor the clan are going to lose anyone or anything we care about. Not if I can stop it. But Cas is his own person and I have to respect that. I give you my word that if you tell me if you love him, or even think there’s a chance you could love him, and will do anything to take care of him, I’ll back off. Hell, I might even help you nag the sorry sap.”

What could Dean say? Gabriel had managed to make things much more complicated than Dean thought they once were. Why did he have to get caught by the wave that day? Why did he not see this as screwed up as it was in the first place? Oh yeah, cause a cute guy with an awesome tail was interesting and interested in him and liked Dean’s music and made Dean both sleepy and wide awake at the same time and when Dean heard a song he thought _I should play that for Cas_ and somewhere between the meetings in which the world seemed to be completely their own, Dean had fallen for a guy with gills.

Dean forced air through his front teeth. “I’m sure as hell not saying I love Cas, okay? But I promise that if he shows up when I asked him to, I’ll do everything in my power to keep him safe. But happy, too. That guy needs to crack a smile more often.” Dean realized he was smiling because Gabriel returned the soft gaze. Dean dropped his eyes which seemed to cause Gabe to relax.

“All I needed to hear, kiddo. What do you want to know about lil’ Cassie?”

“Not now. I need to actually do my job. Can you come by later tonight?”

“Whoa there, big boy. Buy me dinner first,” Gabriel teased. When Dean looked at him with frustration, however, he continued, “I’ll be here same time tomorrow morning. And if you’d be so kind, bring me some kind of chocolate bar. Can’t get those kinda goodies down below.”

\---

_Cas isn’t gonna show_ , Dean thought. He’d been pacing the same strip of the dock for so long that he could feel unsteady cracks forming. Waiting, Dean had learned, was one of his least favourite things to do.

Of course he had showed up just after his poor excuse for a dinner (his appetite was rarely curbed, but for some reason he could only force himself to eat some trail mix), so he didn’t expect Cas to be there yet. He had brought an old camp stove of Ellen’s with him in hopes to fix it up for her as well as keep him occupied. As he tinkered away, he found himself glancing at the ocean every so often. A knot would form in his gut similar to the feeling you get when you think the waiter has your food and they veer to another table every time he saw nothing but the calm waves reflecting the auburn sky. A simple noise would make his head snap to the side, but every time it was a false alarm.

_Cas isn’t gonna show._ Why would he? Gabe said Cas thought too little of himself to ever leave his little bubble. But he also said Cas could surprise you at the strangest times. Yeah, real helpful Gabriel was. How could Dean “woo” Cas (Gabe’s words, not his) if Cas wasn’t going to show up? 

His mind began to wander. He tried thinking about what could be going on in Lawrence, what ride Sam and Jess were on at the moment (Dean and Sam had gone to Disneyland the day after Dean arrived and rode as many rides as possible. He'd deny it until the end of time, but  _Snow White's Scary Adventure_ was more frightening than any roller coaster he had ever been on), but he always ended up thinking about Cas. What was he doing? Maybe he fell asleep? Wait, do merpeople even sleep? How would they even do that? Do they have seaweed blankets?

Shaking his head of his ridiculous thoughts, Dean considered jumping in the water. But what would be the point? It’d be freezing, he didn’t have a towel, and there was only a small chance of Cas swimming up just in time.

_Cas isn’t gonna show._ He said it more and more often, hoping to be proven wrong. Surely his scepticism would save him from the shattering disappointment creeping up inside him.

The camping stove was long fixed by the time Dean began drifting off to sleep on the edge of the dock, but every small movement or sound made him jump up, wide awake.

Dean gave up at midnight. The moon hung there, mocking him for even trying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for such a long wait; life is crazy. Thanks for staying with me! <3


	8. Chapter 8

Castiel kept himself busy all week. Extra watch shifts, hunting, making traps, anything to keep his mind off what he really wants to be doing. He reasoned that if he denied his feelings long enough, Dean would easily forget about him and move on.

It killed Cas to think about leaving Dean to wait for him up there. He had always found humans intriguing to study from afar, but never would he think this would happen. He was content before; now it seemed he was only living a half-life when he wasn’t spending time with the man. Dean pointed out things that Castiel had never noticed before, like how if you are still and quiet, the pier would make creaking noises that sounded almost like a dolphin. Everything was brighter, warmer, more enjoyable even when Cas was simply thinking of Dean.

But he couldn’t let his selfish desires get in the way of what was really important. All he needed to do was avoid surfacing that night or any other time when Dean could be at the beach. Dean would then know that Castiel was not interested in furthering their relationship nor foolish enough to keep up the charade that their meetings were both secret and safe.

The night Castiel was meant to see Dean, he instead was mentoring a little one how to hide in different scenarios. He groaned when he saw Gabriel swim up.

“Hey, go show the others what Cas has taught you today, alright?” Gabriel said sweetly to the wide-eyed youngster. She scurried off, happily obeying a leader’s request.

Turning to Castiel, Gabriel’s face became more playful, but Castiel noticed a hint of sternness in his brother’s eyes. It was this look that Castiel feared most as it meant that Gabriel was determined to get his way.

“Big night tonight, hey bro?” Gabriel said happily.

“No, not really. I plan on working with the hatchlings more and sleeping early to be as alert as possible for my dawn shift,” Cas replied plainly. If he could brush his brother off, then there would be no reason for him to convince him to go. But wait, how did Gabriel know about tonight? Castiel hadn’t told him, and he was certain Gabriel hadn’t been spying the last time Castiel met with Dean.

“Gabriel, what exactly do you mean by ‘big night’?” Castiel asked suspiciously.

Instead of looking surprised or ashamed as Castiel expected he might, Gabriel let his body float back against the slow-moving water.

“You really think I could refrain from meeting this ‘Dean’? Come on Castiel, I thought you knew me.”

Anger surged through Castiel, boiling his blood. He couldn’t help himself from snapping his body upwards so he looked down on his brother. “Gabriel. What. Did. You. _Do._ ” Every word was said with more of a growl than the last, but Gabriel didn’t back down. Instead, he looked amused, which made Castiel’s tail rigid in annoyance.

“I was on my very best behaviour, I swear! He seemed to deny my civility, but by the end of our meeting we treated each other with utmost respect. I didn’t even tell him to go fuck a whale’s blowhole or anything!” Gabriel nodded his head in pride at his last comment, which Castiel found odd. He let it go as Gabriel continued, “I just wanted to get to know him myself, and if he learned that you had a big brother who should not be messed with under any circumstances, well, that’s a bonus.”

Castiel’s anger was being replaced with calm as he took deep breaths. Still, his brother didn’t seem to be telling the whole truth.

“What did Dean say?”

“Not much.”

“Gabriel,” Castiel said through gritted teeth. He loved his brother, but he was a pain in the ass. (This was a phrase Dean had taught Castiel; he found a certain amount of frustration release when saying it even though, as he had pointed out to Dean, he didn’t technically have an ass).

“Killjoy,” Gabriel muttered, then said loud and clear, “He really didn’t say much, Cas. But he said enough to convince me you two are mature enough to make this work. That is, if _you_ want to make it work. Seems to me that for all the affection you two feel towards one another, you’re too stubborn to do anything about it. But I support this show-up-means-yes, don’t-show-up-means-no deal.”

“Great. Glad you two settled things.” Castiel turned away, busying himself with whatever he could find nearby and trying to ignore the fact that Gabriel used the word _affection._ He hoped Gabriel would recognize Castiel did not want the conversation to continue and simply leave him alone.

Hope was a silly thing. Gabriel swam up behind Cas, resting his chin on the younger brother’s shoulder.

“Sooo… you gonna go meet him tonight or what?”

“No. I don’t see any reason.”

“Uh, because you two make each other happy? You’re both responsible enough to keep this a secret –well, except from me, but I’m awesome– and Dean’s a catch!”

“Gabriel, _stop_. I do not understand why you’re suddenly supporting whatever relationship you think Dean and I have, or _had_ , but it is not your place. If I want to keep the clan safe, I have to stay away from human contact.”

“But Cas, he’s up there at this exact moment!” Gabriel exclaimed, emphasizing each word with a punch of his finger to the surface as if it would make Castiel more inclined to see for himself. “I checked about five minutes ago; the dude’s fidgeting with some kind of toaster. You should save him from his misery.”

“No, he is busy. This is good for everyone, Gabriel.” Castiel did not turn around to see his brother's reaction, but he could feel Gabriel’s frustration rolling off in waves. After a few strong exhalations, Gabriel spoke again.

“Cas, I told Dean.”

That brought Castiel to a halt. He turned slowly to face his brother, hoping he didn’t mean what he thought he meant.

“What did you tell him, exactly?”

“I told him he has the most beautiful green eyes,” Gabriel mocked. “What do you think I told him, little brother? It’s the perfect coincidence that someone like Dean comes along when it’s your turn to—”

“No, Gabriel, this does not change anything. I will not do this!” Cas had repeated the last sentence to himself so many times that it was merely a chant now. Keep saying it, keep believing it.

He swam as fast as he could away from his brother. When Cas felt safe enough away from everything, he found a nice, pitch black cave and stayed there for the duration of the evening. If anyone had swam by, they would have heard broken fragments of ‘ _I will not do this_ ’ complemented by choked sobs.

\---

Regret was an amazing feeling. Castiel thought he had felt it the longest when Anna had died and he thought he could have done more about it. He thought he had felt it the deepest when he couldn’t save those trapped in the caves. But no. Regret was like a blister: one will show up near where a previous one had been, but in a much more painful place. Regret demanded attention like no other. Dean tore through every thought. He thought he would be sick from the guilt he felt from leading Dean on and then letting him sit there on the dock all night, but his body wouldn’t grant him that kind of release. It was as if his body was punishing him for his stupidity. The cherry on top was that Gabriel pitied his brother too much to even say 'I told you so'.

Two nights after Castiel's mistake, he couldn't take staying under the surface any longer. It was likely futile, but even the possibility of Dean being at the beach was motivation enough. He felt as though he was swimming faster than ever before, yet not getting there fast enough. 

Cas reached the pier panting. Hearing the faint sound of music playing somewhere close to the shore, Cas glided over to a nearby rock that proved to shadow him from the bright light of the moon. His stomach was in his throat as he rose slowly above the water. But there was no use for his anxiety as the closest person was far down the beach; apparently another beach party was in order. 

Too tired to go back to his clan, Castiel decided to rest against the large rock and listen to the distant music. He tried to get comfortable, but the thought that he would never again lay back on these rocks and talk with the lifeguard kept him permanently restless. The waves rolling onto his air-exposed skin eventually lull him into a half-asleep state.

Castiel could not tell how long, but what seemed like minutes later there was movement down the beach that perked Castiel up. Turning around, Cas saw a very Dean-like figure walking to the side of the beach opposite to the pier with a guitar. It likely wasn't Dean, it could easily be any other person from the party wanting some time alone, but Castiel had to try. 

Dipping under the water, Castiel swam over to the small dip in the rocks that he guessed the man was aiming for. He surfaced as close to shore as possible, which was maybe a couple of metres. Maybe it was that damn hope again, but Castiel was close enough to see blonde hair illuminated by the moonlight and serious eyes scrutinizing the guitar strings. It had to be Dean.

"Hello Dean." The words made Dean jump, making him almost fall off the rock. He stayed with his back to Castiel, still fiddling with his guitar. 

“Fuck off, Cas.” 

Castiel was expecting a sarcastic reply. Not words that cut through him more than the coldest of water.

"Please, Dean. I made a mistake."

"Seems like you didn't. I ain't waiting around for someone, and who's to say that you won't change your mind next week?"

"You were right, Dean," Castiel moved to force himself into Dean's line of sight, catching Dean's gaze and not allowing the man to let it go, "I am afraid of change. But you're a change worth the risk."

Dean huffed and rolled his eyes. "You really know how to sap up a moment, don't ya Cas?" he replied.

"Dean, not seeing you was the hardest thing I had ever done and I will never forgive myself for doing such a thing to you. So I do not care if I'm 'sappy', but I've barely slept since that night I left you waiting for me."

Dean turned slightly away from Cas as though he were thinking about something very important. Castiel thought he heard Dean whisper something like  _so they do sleep_  to himself, but he quickly dismissed the comment.

Unfortunately, Castiel had no idea what to say next, and apparently neither did Dean. Cas treaded his fingers through the water as Dean clicked his tongue. Fear welling up in Cas, he said what had been at the back of his mind ever since Gabriel had talked to him. 

“I know Gabriel told you,” Cas said plainly, though his heart was pounding.

Dean shifted uncomfortably, but his eyes gave nothing away. “Yeah, well what does it matter?"

“It matters because I want to try it.”

"Land isn't that great, Cas. Plus, didn't you say that your clan has no reason to leave?"

"Well Gabriel still likes to use his days. I think it would be interesting to try, and if you were willing, I would like you to accompany me."

Dean just stared back at Castiel for a few moments. Just as Castiel was beginning to feel as though this was all a mistake, a switch seemed to turn on in Dean and the man spoke. 

“Well good. Cause I wasn't gonna say anything, but it’s damn near pathetic that you’ve never ridden in a car or felt sand between your toes.”

“I have felt sand between my fingers; I would imagine it would not be so different,” Cas said, but quickly backtracked when Dean gave him an are-you-serious look, “but I imagine it would be a slightly different sensation.”

"Uh, yeah. So how would this whole thing work? Gabriel didn't go into detail but it doesn't sound like the most fun of processes--transitioning, that is." Dean's body language still conveyed an awkward coolness, but there was now excitement behind his eyes. Well, it sure looked like excitement to Castiel. 

"You would not need to be present for that part. But if you would lend me some clothes, possibly some shoes as well, that would be very kind of you."

"Yeah, sure thing." A small smile crossed Dean's face, and Castiel couldn't help but smile back at the lifeguard. Relief absolved almost all the regret that was filling Castiel up only moments before. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyone have some favourite things they like to do in California? I have a few ideas, but if anyone has any suggestions I'm all ears!


End file.
